Does being a “momma’s boy” affect your sexual orientation?

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Does being a”momma’s boy” affect your sexual orientation?

One of the questions that emerge when you start talking about boys who have been enmeshed or over involved with their mothers is, does that cause a boy to become gay, or sometimes those boys are referred to as”momma’s boys”. So there are couple of issues that I think are important here. One of which is that is that is not a boy’s fault, first of all, that he’s under the spell and the engulfment of his mother. He is not causing it. It’s not his fault that he doesn’t have a strong sense of himself. So I want to make that point very clear.

The second is that being too close to your mother does not cause somebody to be gay, or, heterosexual for that matter. So you can look at men as adults who have had very parallel if not exact enmeshed relationships with their mothers where the man plays the role of a surrogate husband. One is heterosexual. Women turn him on, and the other is gay and men turn him on. And they had a very similar parenting relationship with the mother in which she used him for her own needs.

So there are some similarities there, around feeling guilty and responsible for her, and there are some differences. Sometimes gay men, because they don’t want to accept that they are gay, will want to blame their mother or search for fault, and that just haven’t proven to be true. Similarly though, some very heterosexual men who feel heterosexual and are erotically charged by women have a very difficult time bonding with a woman because they are so bonded with their mother, might fear that they are gay and they are not. And that’s an important distinction for both of those men to know.

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