I believe the BCP is a wonderful program that opened my eyes to issues and problems I had been denying for years. It benefited my recovery because I now know my relationship with my wife was heading towards a disasterous end. I feel this program has stopped that course and given us the tools for recovery and comunication that will last a lifetime.
Using children to fulfill your adult needs
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Using children to fulfill your adult needs
So what are some of the problems that occur in a family system with kids when one of the parents is too involved or enmeshed with their parent? When there aren’t clean lines between generations it might look something like this: you know, mom and dad I’m glad you’re there, I love, I want to see you but I can’t have you running my marriage. When that line isn’t there, there is a greater risk that son, let’s say it’s a son, who has been over involved with his mother, taking care of her because she’s angry with her husband, his father. Then he might be more inclined, because now he’s going to behaving problems with his wife, to turn to his daughter, to comfort him, to listen to him. So, there is a greater likelihood that enmeshment can occur within that next family system where we see the next generation of boundary problems where the parent turns to the child. Or maybe the wife who’s involved with the man who’s enmeshed with his mother, maybe she turns to the son. I can’t get your father to pay attention to me, but I can get you to pay attention to me. So once there is a crossover between generations, it often spills into the next generation in which children are being used to fulfill the needs of a parent. That really isn’t their job to do and the parent is always responsible for the boundary. The child is not responsible for the boundary. Many kids are more than willing to come to their parent’s aid and there’s nothing wrong with that, we want our children to be sensitive, we want our kids to be tuned in, right. Sometimes if they aren’t, it becomes its own problem. But when the parent hijacks that and uses it for their own self-centered or selfish needs chronically, it binds the child to the parent inappropriately, through guilt and inappropriate demands for loyalty.
Sexual Addiction
Testimonials
This program is ground -breaking and keeps you centered in recovery. It has allowed me to remain in my marriage and conitnue my recovery.
I should have done this two years ago. Very helpful with abstinence and recovery. I feel real progress.
This has been the most formative experience in my recovery. It has broken through my denial and into more of who I am. It was integrated directly with my individual therapy.
The program here at Ken Adams and Associates helped save our marriage. It gave my wife and me a chance to feel hopeful again. Dealing with my addiction has been difficult. But, here, I found a place that helps me understand myself and feel less shame. I am so grateful to have found my way to this program.
The nurturing environment combined with the accountability was exactly what I needed to begin breaking through my codependency habits.