I should have done this two years ago. Very helpful with abstinence and recovery. I feel real progress.
Silently Seduced: When Parents Make Their Children Partners, Understanding Covert Incest
Revised and Updated by Kenneth M. Adams, Ph.D.
Revised and Updated by Kenneth M. Adams, Ph.D.
Excerpt from book – Covert incest occurs when a child becomes the object of a parent’s affection, love, passion, and preoccupation. The parent, motivated by the loneliness and emptiness created by a chronically troubled marriage or relationship, makes the child a surrogate partner. The boundary between caring and incestuous love is crossed when the child exists to meet the needs of the parent rather than the child.
Available now for preorder at Amazon, B&N, HCI Books, and wherever books are sold.
Reviews (from Amazon)
Wow., October 5, 2000
Reviewer: A reader – This is the single most powerful book I have read on what it means to grow up in a household where the parents are not fulfilling each other’s emotional and physical needs. The children become the receptacle for all the frustrated sexual energy the parents are experiencing, even if they are not talking about it. This is exactly what happened to me — the oldest daughter of an alcoholic and his angry wife. Finally, I understand the “ickiness” (the author’s word) I still feel every time I am required to spend time with my parents.
This book talks about the specific, sexualized emotions you experience while growing up in a dysfunctional home that don’t get articulated because it’s too squeamish to talk about them. And yet, it does so in a very safe and comforting manner. It’s like getting the hug and shoulder to lean on that you never got growing up.
Facing the truth of being emotionally used by one’s parents is a sobering experience — but oh what a relief to have these feelings explained and validated. I feel extraordinarily relieved to have read this book — it gives me new hope for my present, my future and my marriage.
Must reading, especially for addicts, February 24, 2006
Reviewer: A reader – This book certainly portrays the difficulties and impact on children haunted by covert incest. At 55 yrs. old, my life could have been soooo… much better if I had been diagnosed previously. Thanks very much to my therapist (3rd one I worked with) for identifying this issue for me. Amazon’s search engine recommended this book immediately and I devoured its message. The 5th chapter will be presented at our area’s Spring Retreat of S.A.A. this April. This book should be a must!!
I should have done this two years ago. Very helpful with abstinence and recovery. I feel real progress.
My overall impression of the Beginnings Care Program in regards to codependency and addiction is both informative and supportive! Giving me the opportunity to learn, grow and heal rather than continue with all the negative coping. It has also benefited my recovery by helping me to ‘detach’ and be healthier while doing so.
Complete program. [It] made me look at things I’ve been running from for 26 years. Beauty was that it also gave me the tools to cope.
This program is a great program. It is an outlet for an addictive problem, that goes beyond a 12-Step Program. Number one benefit – Education. The education about this addiction was a godsend. Then the process of walking us through all those recovery steps with homework, was very good. Makes you think and recognize what this addiction has done to your life.
My desperation has gone away.
The program here at Ken Adams and Associates helped save our marriage. It gave my wife and me a chance to feel hopeful again. Dealing with my addiction has been difficult. But, here, I found a place that helps me understand myself and feel less shame. I am so grateful to have found my way to this program.